I am the best procrastinator ever. I should win an award. I am in my very last term of college, FINALLY, and I only had four little things to do in six months. Well, not little exactly. I had to read five books, write three reports on them and have five discussions with a course mentor, then I had to write an annotated bibliography for at least 50 sources, write a 20-30 page paper, and then do a powerpoint presentation. So far, I’ve gotten the first part out of the way, but my term is up in 21 days and I have none of the rest of that stuff done. I have about 35 sources done on my annotated bibliography, so I am definitely going to get that done by the 31st, but the paper and powerpoint presentation just ain’t happenin’.
I’m enrolled in an online, competency based program so you go as slow or as fast as you like. If you don’t finish all your classes in one term, you can finish them then next but can’t make that a habit or you get put on probation and all that jazz. Since it is my last term, however, I won’t have to worry about that stuff. So, This god forsaken Bachelor’s degree that has now taken me 7 years is going to take a little bit longer. Ugh! I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself. I just can’t seem to dig in and get my stuff done. Well, I can, but not really so much when it’s something I loathe doing like writing research papers. Even the promise of being done with this crap forever has not given me the motivation that I needed to get it done for some reason. I REALLY want to be done with this, but that is counteracted by the fact that I REALLY hate writing research papers.
I decided that I am not going to stress out right before the holidays trying to get all this done plus shopping and wrapping presents and all that other stuff because I would just get stressed and angry and ruin everyone’s holiday. So I am just going to take it easy, finish this bibliography and then do the paper and the powerpoint in January and call it a day. Then I can be gloriously free of homework for the first time in my life. I cannot wait. I can’t wait to have my evenings free to do things I actually enjoy, to be able to read books for pleasure without feeling guilty that I should be doing homework, to be able to focus on things like my health and actually finding time to exercise without having to debate whether I should do that or homework.
What makes it even more difficult for me to be able to finish this degree is that I am not that interested in it and I am not going to use it. I changed my life plan awhile back but I was already more than halfway done with this degree and I put so much time, energy and money into it already that I didn’t want to just quit and leave it behind when I was so close to having a degree. I want to show my daughters that hard work (or somewhat lazy work over long periods of time) pays off. I want to be able to say that I got a degree with two little ones at home while trying to start a business. It sounds impressive, doesn’t it?
Anyway, wish me luck that I can finish it before July!